I pass Fat Witch Bakery on a daily basis as it’s housed in Chelsea Market, home to the Google office where I work. I remember being so naive as a New York newcomer two years ago, assuming that Fat Witch brownies were the best around as a result of their marketing and eminence among NY tourists. 1000 free samples later, I can confidently say that I couldn’t have been further from the truth. Fat Witch Brownies are the worst brownies I’ve ever tasted.
I was reminded of this fact when I found a box of them in our office kitchen today, the remains of a client meeting. Knowing that I’ve never been impressed by them, I still decided to sample a piece to get a chocolate fix. Why, I’m not sure, because the brownies don’t even taste like chocolate. If I had chewed with my eyes closed, I would have surely guessed that I was eating some kind of blondie drenched in butter. The flavor that first comes to mind when eating a Fat Witch is the butter – overpoweringly greasy, mouth oiling butter. Where’s the chocolate??
Flavor aside, I do commend Fat Witch for their unique theme (each brownie has an original, play on “witch” name), and their cute and creative wrapping. They are tempting to buy as gifts, as they can be assorted and shipped around the country. They even have minis, which they call “Witch Babies.” Still, when you’re selling one product and one product only, there’s just no excuse for it to be less than damn good.
There’s my rant for the day. For those concerned, I eventually made up for the wasted chew-time with a delicious slice of red velvet from Amy’s Bread, courtesy of my cube-mate.
Address: Chelsea Market, 9th Ave between 15th and 16th Streets
*pictures courtesy of Yelp